There is an old Sufi saying: "In the world, but not of the world." And while this phrase may mean different things to different people, with various reasons for feeling (or needing to feel) separated from the world, those outside mainstream society would say it signifies a certain "otherness" that ultimately causes many to feel isolated, and retreat. Even in large numbers, even within established communities and counter-cultures, a person may feel ostracized or even at risk in the presence of the majority. But from those cultures and communities that have stood the test of time, established solidarity, and fought long hard battles as they've not only distinguished themselves but solidified their place among the masses, the real vampire community may have much to learn.
The following piece is a perspective on the subject of culture parallels and mainstream acceptance written by Hesperus — a self-identified psychic vampire, and member of the OVC.
A Single Vampire is Mad, Thousands are a Minority
Few members of our community go untouched by anti-vampire prejudice. For those of us brave enough to publicly acknowledge our natures, the vulgar assumptions by others about our habits or mental health are insulting and can even threaten our safety and our freedom. Those among us who understandably choose a higher level of discretion to avoid the threats posed by an ill-informed and potentially dangerous society often live in an exhausting state of perpetual hyper-vigilance, feeling compelled to conceal an integral part of their identities. These conditions are familiar to me, personally, not only as a vampire but as a gay man. Thankfully, the prevailing attitudes regarding sexual minorities, as illuminated in large part by changes in representation in media, are shifting toward greater acceptance and threats of violence and forcible institutionalization are much abated. The vampire community, on the other hand, continues to find itself consistently depicted as insidious, predatory creatures fixated on victimizing innocent, unsuspecting people. The representation of minorities in this way more or less summarizes the propaganda used to marginalize every oppressed community throughout history. Learning from the hard-won successes and continuing battles of those who have had to fight to combat irrational and vilifying depictions of their community could offer invaluable encouragement and insight into our own.
The development of a firm sense of identity and community has followed a similar path for both gay men and vampires. Throughout ancient history homosexual acts are widely reported and yet the idea of a homosexual, a personal identity predicated on an innate tendency, is a comparatively recent concept. In both groups, a sense of identity arose from an inherent inclination that is not shared by the majority: the romantic attraction to people of the same gender for gays, and the need to derive sustenance from the vitality of others for vampires. With this shift from isolated behaviors to intrinsic natures established, the recognition of common struggles, needs, values and dialects led to the assertion that we qualified as a distinct community. A major milestone for the gay community toward this end was the establishment of the Mattachine Society in the early 1950s, not unlike the founding of like-minded groups and Houses in the early vampire community. It is also not uncommon for members of both communities to face disbelief from friends and family upon their decision to share the results of their self-discovery. Combatting regular invalidation of one's identity can have a major impact on the development of that identity.
The environment in which the gay community developed its collective character can be gleaned from how they were represented in the media of the time. It was exceptionally rare for homosexuals to be portrayed at all until relatively recently and, when we were, we were depicted as sexual predators lurking near schoolgrounds, waiting for an opportunity to corrupt children, magically infecting them with homosexuality. The closest that such representations came to a compassionate rendering of homosexuals was when they declared our sexual deviance to be a mental illness in need of immediate treatment. Seeing these exclusively negative portrayals was often very damaging especially to younger gay people, many of whom were still in the process of developing their sense of identity. Naturally, this environment demanded a high degree of discretion, as the consequences of stigma could be irreparable and even mortal. After much struggling and outspoken activism, the gay community has made great progress toward establishing a stable, positive media presence by consistently demanding equal recognition and denouncing defamation.
Depictions of vampires in popular culture today are just as damaging. The overwhelming majority of media representations of us, at present, are grotesquely inaccurate and negative; we are displayed as murderers who cannot control our primal impulses, callous monsters who hold no value for human life, deviant sex maniacs who manipulate others so that we may bypass their inhibitions and sexually assault them and somehow infect them with the terrible disease of vampirism. When a vampire is depicted as a hero, it is only when he denounces his "true nature" as a predator and starves himself, often valiantly killing off as many other evil vampires as he can while doing so. This is as insidious as it is atrocious.
Unlike prejudice based on more easily visible traits like race or sex, the possibility for discretion or remaining completely "in the closet" offers itself to sexual minorities and vampires alike. While this may, at first, seem to be an advantage, it can have crippling effects on the development of a solid community. Furthermore, remaining in hiding often contributes to the internalization of the discrimatory propaganda that claims that such minorities are forever lurking in the shadows, hiding in plain sight and awaiting any opportunity to strike. Because of the legitimate risk posed to personal safety, financial, legal, and social stability by living openly as a vampire, however, any decision regarding how openly to express this aspect of one's nature should be respected and never challenged or condemned. What must be challenged and condemned are the demonizing portrayals of our community that make openness unacceptably dangerous for so many of us.
For all of the common ground shared by our communities, the primary obstacles faced by other oppressed minorities have been the institutionalized discrimination of governments and the largely unchecked threats posed by others fuelled by the hatred reinforced by those discriminatory institutions. That hatred is consistently justified by malicious stereotypes, the inventions of which often lead to the originating of oppressive legislation. The primary obstacle to safety for the vampire community today is the threat of violence from an ignorant and hostile humanity that sees us as monstrous, predatory beasts that can do nothing but harm. While there are some notable exceptions (e.g.: Louisiana Revised Statute 14:107.1, which makes consensual blood consumption, even during religious rites, illegal and punishable by between five and twenty-five years in prison per offense), few laws have been specifically enacted to suppress our community.
The question, then, becomes whether an increased visibility would aid the members of our community or put us at greater risk. Similar tactics of slandering a minority have immediately preceded the enaction of oppressive laws repeatedly throughout history. The only reason that such laws aimed at vampires are not widely in place already is that the majority sees us as fictional, too horrible to truly exist. As the community begins the transition into public view—an inevitability in our age—it is vital that we learn from those who have made similar transitions in the past. We must be able to set aside our differences in order to effect a safer world for ourselves and for future generations; we must forge meaningful alliances with sympathetic communities and, above all, we must continue in our lives as our natures dictate. To do this is to prove those who vilify and demonize us wrong at every point. We are not diseased or insane; we are not possessed of or by demons; we are not rabid predators victimizing the innocent at every opportunity; and we are not the first to be unjustly defamed by such calumnies.
The above prognosis of society's reaction to our growing conspicuity may seem unjustified or paranoid. Human history, though, speaks for itself; its pattern of greeting anything new with suspicion and suppression is unquestionably consistent and the expectation that such history will recur in our case without our active interference is reasonable. However, paranoia is symptomatic of poor planning. There is no need for rash action, merely appropriate preparation. Fear of widespread violence or the institutionalization of discrimination against us is not presently justified and panic would be counter-productive. Instead, this is the time to organize peaceably and find ourselves.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and/or contributors and do not necessarily reflect the official policies, positions or recommendations of the owners, agents or subsidiaries of GetFanged.com. Anything derived from the content of this article is at the reader’s own discretion. Please refer to our Terms of Use for further information.
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Use incense to enhance your rituals.
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This week, we're going to be looking at the use of oils and incense in modern Pagan practice. While not everyone includes oils or incense as part of ritual or magic, many people find that these items enhance their magical workings. Incense and oil have been used in many cultures, for thousands of years, for a variety of purposes. Let's look at some of the basics of oil and incense, and talk about some ways you can use them in your practice.
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Incense 101: Making and Using Incense
For thousands of years, people have used fragrant flowers, plants, and herbs as incense. Using smoke to send prayers out to the gods is one of the oldest known forms of ceremony. From the censers of the Catholic church to the Pagan bonfire rituals, incense is a powerful way to let your intent be known. You can make your own quite easily, using a blend of herbs, flowers, wood bark, resins, and berries. Most of these are items you can grow yourself, find in the woods, or purchase inexpensively. Read Full Article
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Incense Recipes
Here are some of the most popular incense recipes from About Pagan/Wiccan, including a variety of seasonal scents, our Samhain Spirit incense, Mabon Harvest incense, and our Full Moon incense blend. Read Full Article
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Intro to Magical Oils
Our ancestors used oils in ceremony and ritual hundreds and even thousands of years ago. Because many essential oils are still available, we can continue making our own blends today. In the past, oils were created by placing oil or fat over a heat source, and then adding fragrant herbs and flowers to the oil. Many companies today offer synthetic oils at a fraction of the cost of essential oils (essential oils are the ones actually extracted from a plant). However, for magical purposes it's best to use authentic, essential oils -- these contain the magical properties of the plant, which synthetic oils do not have. Read Full Article
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Magical Oil Recipes
Here are some of our most popular magical oil recipes, including Money Oil, Blessing Oil, and Gratitude Oil. Try these basic recipes to get started, and then branch out and invent your own! Read Full Article
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Are you raising Pagan kids?
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As more people embrace earth-based spiritual paths, it's becoming more common to find Pagans who are rearing children in their faith. Let's talk about some tips and tricks for raising Pagan kids, and living as a Pagan family -- how can you celebrate the Sabbats in a kid-friendly fashion, deal with teachers who may be insensitive to your beliefs, and raise well-adjusted kids in a non-mainstream religion? Have a magical week, and watch for Friday's special Mabon newsletter!
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Keeping Kids Involved in Pagan Practice
As the modern Pagan movement progresses and evolves, the Pagan community has grown to encompass people of all age levels. Those who discovered Paganism as teens or college students two or three decades ago are now raising their own children, and so the demographic within the Pagan community is constantly changing. It's not uncommon at all to meet families in which one or both parents are Pagans or Wiccans, and they may have kids who follow a variety of religious paths. One of the questions that arises, though, is that of how to include children in Pagan practice. Read Full Article
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Books for Pagan Kids
The biggest problem here is that there just really isn't a whole lot out there commercially available for kids in Wiccan and Pagan families. That makes it kind of tough sometimes to find books... however, once you do a little digging, you'll find there are a ton of books that support Pagan and Wiccan principles and values. Things like stewardship of the earth, respect for nature, reverence of the ancestors, tolerance for diversity, a hope towards peace -- all things that many Wiccan and Pagan parents would like to see instilled in their kids. Read Full Article
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Ten Activities for Pagan Kids
For many Pagans and Wiccans, it's hard to find kid-friendly activities that celebrate our spiritual path. Believe it or not, sharing your beliefs with your kids is easier than you think. After all, you're the parent, so you can lead by example. Show your children what you do, and they'll emulate you in their own way. Teaching by doing is the key. By living a Pagan life, you'll show your kids what it means to be Pagan or Wiccan or whatever your family's path is. These very simple activities are easy enough that you can do them with nearly any child, so have fun with them! Read Full Article
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Your Rights as a Pagan Parent
When it comes to raising our kids, it's sometimes hard to know what rights we have as Pagan or Wiccan parents. In the United States, we have the same rights as parents of any other religion. Learn how you can avoid discrimination in schools, simply by opening up the lines of communication. Read Full Article
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Are you ready for Mabon?
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For our northern hemisphere readers, it is the time of the autumn equinox, and the harvest is winding down. The fields are nearly empty, because the crops have been plucked and stored for the coming winter. Mabon is the mid-harvest festival, and it is when we take a few moments to honor the changing seasons, and celebrate the second harvest. On September 22, for many Pagan traditions it is a time of giving thanks for the things we have, whether it is abundant crops or other blessings. Be sure to read All About Mabonfor more rituals, folklore, and activities!
Our readers below the equator are celebrating Ostara, the spring equinox. Winter is winding down, and signs that the earth is coming back to life are beginning to appear. Whichever of these Sabbats you may be celebrating this weekend, I wish you all the blessings of the season!
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Mabon History
Two days a year, the Northern and Southern hemispheres receive the same amount of sunlight. Not only that, each receives the same amount of light as they do dark -- this is because the earth is tilted at a right angle to the sun, and the sun is directly over the equator. In Latin, the word equinox translates to "equal night." Let's look at some ways that Mabon is celebrated around the world, and some of the symbols of the season. Read Full Article
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Mabon Rituals
Depending on your individual spiritual path, there are many different ways you can celebrate Mabon, but typically the focus is on either the second harvest aspect, or the balance between light and dark. Here are a few rituals you may want to think about trying -- and remember, any of them can be adapted for either a solitary practitioner or a small group, with just a little planning ahead.Red Full Article
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Mabon Traditions and Customs
Interested in learning about some of the traditions behind the celebrations of September? Find out why Mabon is important, learn the legend of Persephone and Demeter, and explore the magic of apples and more! Read Full Article
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All About Ostara
It's the time of the vernal equinox of you live in the Southern Hemisphere, and it's a true marker that Spring has come. There are many different ways you can celebrate this Sabbat, depending on your tradition. Read Full Article
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Defy Gravity: Understanding Your Seven Graces
Caroline Myss - On Demand Lecture
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Hay House is proud to release For the Sender by Alex Woodard.
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"We have these same tragedies, victories, and triumphs... we just call them by a different name. That's how we're all part of the same story."
—Alex Woodard
Heart-warming and intimate, For The Sender is one of the most inspiring books of the year. Through his own story of loss and grief, author Alex Woodard takes the reader on a personal journey of interconnection and transformation with the discovery that sometimes, giving back is the only way to true healing.
After years of chasing his dreams, singer-songwriter Alex Woodard finally had a record deal and an album to promote. He offered to write a song for anybody who preordered his self-titled release; all they had to do was send him a letter about their story, and he would write and record a song just for them at his kitchen table.
The promotion came and went—and as the year wore on and the record deal fell apart, Alex watched his best friend, a Labrador named Kona, die in his living room with her head in his lap. Her passing shined a harsh light on how far away Alex really was from his dreams, and autumn found him trying to let go of both Kona and everything he thought would have happened by now.
And then he got a letter from Emily.
Emily had finally found the love of a soul mate, a true kindred spirit and best friend, when autumn took him away. Every year since his passing, she writes him a letter to say she misses him and remembers the beautiful moments they had together. She usually tucks the letter away into a box, since there is nowhere to send it, but this autumn she sent the letter to Alex.
She didn't want Alex to write a song for her. She just felt like his songs were pieces of himself he gave to others, and she wanted to give him a piece of herself as her own kind of gift.
But Alex did write a song for her. And that song became two, then three, then eventually twelve as more letters came in and Alex showed them to a group of talented musicians who share "family dinners" in his San Diego neighborhood. The letters ranged from descriptions of unfathomable grief and destruction in Haiti to more intimate tales of being and belonging, which soon took on a life of their own through the songs.
He didn't know it yet, but Emily's letter had started Alex down his own path of moving through loss and reconciling broken dreams, culminating one cold December night on a small stage in suburban Atlanta. And he found out for himself that a song is like a letter, and a letter is like a prayer.
It's more for the sender. |
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| THE LETTER
It was autumn when I got this letter from Emily, who I didn't yet know but had somehow come across my songs. I was watching my dreams fall like the leaves on the limbs outside my window, barely hanging on before quietly drifting to the ground. And it wasn't only my dreams. My best friend, a labrador named Kona, had recently succumbed to bone cancer with her head on my lap in my living room, and I was taking a hard look at my life as a result. Her death closed a chapter of my life, one of chasing dreams and retreating into solitude when things didn't work out. I didn't know what the next chapter looked like, but I did know that the leaves were doing a better job of letting go than I was.
Emily's words about her own loss, love, and gratitude resonated deeply with me, almost as if she knew what I was going through and had sent the letter on purpose. She had lost her soulmate one autumn, which was also their favorite time of year, and every year around that time she sent him a letter. She included that letter with her own note to me and I showed both to my friend Sean Watkins. We wrote a song about it called "For the Sender," which launched this project.
These letters seem to bring out beautiful truths buried in the wreckage of tragedy. I can see how the struggles and triumphs we talk about over dinner, or on the playground, or to the mirror, are unique because they come from different voices, but are all part of the same conversation. The stories belong to all of us.
Dear Alex,
Every year around this time, I feel a little nostalgic and sad, because this is the season when I lost someone who meant a great deal to me. You see, I am one of the lucky ones, I have experienced the amazing connection of love with a soul mate. A real kindred spirit. Unfortunately, he passed away a few years ago, but I still consider myself lucky, not only because I have felt true love, but I have lost it as well and that too can be considered a gift; for I now know even more than before just how precious life and love are. Of course, I am not always able to smile through the day, sometimes I still miss him, painfully so. Like in autumn, not only the time of year when he was taken from me, but also the time we loved best. So, every year around this time, when the memories fill me, I write him a letter. I thought I'd share it with you, not so you'd write a song for he and I, but because I think your songs are gifts. Pieces of yourself used to help other people with their stories. So, here is a piece of myself. It is all I have to share in return for the wonderful thing you are doing with your music and your talent.
—Emily
I open the parchment-thin pages, and the auburn-colored leaves included in the envelope fall out onto the table along with a photograph of a man with his arms outstretched, who I assume is Emily's soul mate. And the air catches in my throat as I begin to read.
Dear Anno,
The leaves have begun to change again. It began a few weeks ago, but with a subtlety I am not sure I can describe. As if Nature was planning a surprise party, for weeks the plans go on behind your back, bit by bit. Then suddenly one morning you walk outside, and the brisk autumn air screams "SURPRISE!" You look up and see all the colors, like old friends: orange, umber, yellow, sienna, burgundy, green, and brown. The trees are ablaze in a patchwork of fiery brilliance that comforts your very soul.
My favorite coffee shop has pumpkin coffee now. I drink it down in gulps that fill my thoughts with memories of autumns past when we carved funny faces in pumpkins and ate caramels as we walked in the woods looking for pinecones. We were so young then, so happy and free spirited. I still feel that way sometimes. It's like a cosmic gift from the universe. It doesn't happen often, but when it does- Oh, the feeling! Like an orgasm for the soul when you feel alive and free of worry. When doubt and fear are strangers to you and you remember what fun feels like. Do you remember fun? We used to have lots of it this time of year; jumping in leaf piles and laughing, hot apple cider flowing in our veins, the smell of cinnamon and spice in the air.
It lasted only a short time before the season of hot cocoa and snowflakes would quickly drift in and frost over our little world, but while it lasted, autumn was a happy time. We were young and in love, and the world was beautiful.
I still miss you, you know, when the trees are on fire, my heart yearns for you. When the night becomes chilled and the hot apple cider is sipped around the bonfires, I still think of you. Sometimes, I swear I can feel your arms wrap around me at night when I stand out in the cold. The cool night wind tickles my neck like the scruff of your unshaved face as we cuddled close to the fire.
I don't know where the soul goes when a person dies, but I hope it is autumn where you are, too, and that you think of me sometimes when the leaves blow off the trees and the jack-olanterns are smiling. I miss you.
Forever... Your Em
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THE SONG
Sometimes songs take different shapes as they evolve, and this one has become about expressing pain, or joy, or just what is... and how maybe, hopefully, that's enough.
For the Sender
hello my friend
it's me again
writing words i cannot send you
autumn's cold
the leaves are old
and letting go but not me
cause it's when we met
and it's when you left
and it's when our love was the best
so every year i write you this letter
but like a prayer
it's more for the sender
do you remember
sometimes i swear
you're in the air
am i just a great pretender
am i alone
i want to know
if you remember
it's when we met
and it's when you left
and it's when our love was the best
so every year i write you this letter
but like a prayer
it's more for the sender
do you remember
do you remember
do you remember
do you remember |
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| For The Sender is certain to touch the heart and soul of the reader, invoking a powerful awareness of both the healing nature of music and the universally shared understanding of the human condition. Alex's words and songs will simultaneously break and mend the heart, inspiring a palpable feeling of oneness that lingers on long after the last page is turned. |
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THE EXPERIENCE
For The Sender is a book, album, and concert event that demonstrates the healing power of music. Join Alex as he takes you on a moving journey of release, redemption, and realization through the letters, songs, and story of For The Sender.
Friday, September 28th, 12:00 pm PT / 3:00 pm ET
Soundwave on HayHouseRadio.com
In celebration of his new book and CD set For the Sender, Alex performed an intimate concert at the Hay House offices with some of the musicians who participated in his project.
Saturday, October 27th, 5:00pm - 5:30 pm
I Can Do It! Pasadena
Can't make the event, experience the conference through a live online video stream!
Saturday, November 3rd, 5:00pm - 5:30 pm
I Can Do It! IGNITE! New York
Can't make the event, experience the conference through a live online video stream!
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